Evicting Dr. Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein was a terrible tenant.  There were strange smells, late night excavations, and complaints from undertakers about missing corpses.  Furthermore, Dr. Frankenstein never paid his rent.  His landlord was fed up and wanted Dr. Frankenstein out. What the landlord did not know was that Dr. Frankenstein was conducting his greatest experiment, a matter of life and death!  Dr. Frankenstein was building a superhuman with the legs of a running back, the arms of a weightlifter, and the head of a law professor.  Just at the moment when Dr. Frankenstein was going to unite the various body parts with a surge of electrical current, the landlord shut the power off. However, also at that moment a storm was approaching.  Dr. Frankenstein hoisted the lifeless collection of body parts to the highest point of his rental property, and then tied a kite to his creation. Sure enough—SHAAA-ZAMMO! Lightning struck with ten thousand times the voltage that would have come from  Dr. Frankenstein’s washer/dryer outlet, and behold…the creature came to life!  With superhuman strength and the madness only possessed by law professors and judges who’ve sat on the bench too long, the creature took off in a rampage, destroying everything in its […] Read More

Squatters Rights in Dracula’s Castle

Once upon a time just before dawn, Dracula stretched into his coffin for a long nap.  Exhausted from flapping as a bat, he was ready for an extended rest, undisturbed by a steak plunged in his heart, or gunfire with silver ammo, and certainly he wanted no part of smelly garlic.  He closed the lid to his coffin and went fast to sleep. On Halloween, a Pirate knocked at Dracula’s castle door.  “Trick or treat?” said the Pirate, but there was no answer.  The Pirate knocked again, louder this time, but again there was no answer.  After the third time, the Pirate let himself in to look for candy. He opened the door to Dracula’s castle and what he found was a bounty of grandiose treasure—lavishly appointed, the luxurious layout held spectacular views in all directions.  Why would anyone ever want to leave? thought the Pirate, though indeed no one seemed to be at home, and given the state of the cobwebs, no one had been there in quite some time.  So the Pirate wholesale moved in.  He started paying the utilities and got the tax bill put in his name. This went on for seven years, until one night […] Read More

The Pumpkin-Eater & His Wife

Mr. Peter, pumpkin-eater, married a wife and tried to keep her Locked away in his pumpkin shell, But had to ask her permission when it was time to sell. Now Mr. Peter had owned the pumpkin shell as his primary residence when he was single.  He had hand carved it himself just to suit his tastes, and when he married, Mrs. Peter in and promptly hung curtains everywhere and decorated with knickknacks and throw pillows, which the place clearly did not need! Mr. Peter was old fashioned in his thinking and believed he could get rid of his intensive-interior-design wife if he could just sell the place…with her inside.  He was not so much trying to “keep” his wife, but to leave her to a new pumpkin-homeowner. Turns out, though, Mr. Peter had to have Mrs. Peter’s permission to sell their homestead. “But she is not even on the deed!” Peter protested, but to no avail.  Both husband and wife must give consent when it comes to conveyance of their primary residence. The moral of the story is:  Do not try use a real estate sale where marital counseling may work best. Have a Safe & Happy Halloween!   Read More

Legal Spell

Most people do not want to have to hire a lawyer, but eye of newt and toe of frog may not be as effective as good legal counsel to assert your rights…and wool of bat can be hard to come by. Legal proceedings create an environment where tough situations can be debated.  Attorneys remove the spell of emotional distractions, so you can examine the choices and consequences available, and take the necessary steps to move forward through a problem. When better living through witchcraft does not work, sometimes you need to sue somebody.  A lawsuit is not always the answer, but it may be your last legal option. Have a safe and happy Halloween! Read More

Trick Or Treat

If I could predict the outcome of trials, then I would quit being a lawyer and go play Lotto.  While no one cannot forecast what is going to happen in a home foreclosure case, a legal defense gives you possible outcomes, and alternative routes to pursue. You can dress up in a scary costume, but chances are, you are not going to frighten off the process server.  If your house is haunted by foreclosure, the best you can do is seek the optimal benefit for you and your family. There are no free houses. Foreclosure defense is not about “winning” your case, but mitigating your loss.  Sometimes there are no solutions.  Sometimes “solutions” do not work.  The same argument that works in one courtroom, may not affect the same outcome in front of a different judge. Foreclosure defense, however, gives you the knowledge to make informed decisions about your financial future.  Though you cannot predict what is going to happen in a legal procedure, you know what the possibilities are, and the options you have to handle them. Have a Safe and Happy Halloween! Read More