Amenities as a Guest of the State

If you do not eat your vegetables at home, you can get them in prison.  Florida’s inmates work on over 53 different farms, gardens, and University of Florida food and agricultural facilities, harvesting about 10.4 million pounds of produce, including broccoli, cabbage, cantaloupe, greens, peas, watermelon, and other fruits and vegetables.  If farming, roadwork, or institutional laundry or cooking is not your occupation of choice, you may want to talk to a defense lawyer before you are serving time as a guest of the State. A gated community is not for everyone, especially when the bars do not allow you to come and go as you please.  I always thought I would like jail.  I could get a lot of reading done and would not be interrupted by phone calls, but the loss of freedom is more than an exclusion of distractions.  If you have any legal issue with a prison time, it is good to have an attorney. A defense attorney can help you work with the prosecution on choices to get the best resolution possible.  You may have made bad decisions, but you do not have to put yourself in a worse position by shutting down choices.  Seek […] Read More

Real Estate Deals from Prison

You can buy real estate while you are in prison…you just cannot live at your new property at that time. Free room and board are part of the prison package, but that does not preclude you from buying or selling real estate while you are a guest of the State.  You can wear a jumpsuit to your real estate closing during visiting hours in prison.  It is harder to get things signed and notarized, but if you can use a pen in handcuffs, then you can have a signing in the Big House. While you check your rights to vote and to keep and bear arms at the prison door, you retain the right of land ownership.   Read More

Living in Captivity on Salisbury Steak

The Department of Corrections provides meals, housing, and a limited wardrobe—all within a gated community.  Regardless of the fine amenities offered to the guests of the State, you may want to exercise your Sixth Amendment right to legal counsel before you learn first-hand what day of the week features Salisbury steak. Captivity as a penalty for crime is a fairly modern concept.  Before that, they just executed people.  Once European countries had to quit sending their bad populous to America, prison systems gained popularity, and even a spirit of rehabilitation. I have been to jail many times…but not as an overnight guest of the State.  Regardless of all the reading time and the team-building opportunities you could capitalize on while inside, the loss of freedom is more than an exclusion of distractions.  If you have legal issues that involve a major fine or jail time, seek competent legal representation.  A defense attorney can help you work with the prosecution on choices to get the best resolution possible from unfortunate circumstances.   Read More

Too Much Time On Your Hands?

Remember cafeteria meals, lining up, and roll call?  Prison is like that, but with armed guards.  Lock-up is not where you want to be if you can be somewhere else.  A criminal defense is not a denial of guilt, but a way to pursue your best outcome in a bad situation. What you failed to learn in kindergarten you can get in court:  discipline and something to do with your time.  Judges can find a little public service for you to do or some nights locked up away from home.  Seek competent legal representation who can work with prosecutors for the best resolution possible.   If you have too much time on your hands this Saturday night, come check out our band OE-2-KB (Old Enough-2-Know Better) playing at Beef ‘O’Brady’s in Palatka at 9:00 p.m.   Read More

Assault & Battery

“Assault” and “Battery” are not synonymous.  Per Florida Statute, Assault is “an intentional, unlawful threat by word or act to do violence to the person of another, coupled with an apparent ability to do so, and doing some act which creates a well-founded fear in such other person that such violence is imminent.”  Battery is all that plus actual injury. Words mean things, and if they are threatening, they could mean jail time.  An Assault Charge is a Second Degree Misdemeanor, which can result in 60 days in jail plus a $500 fine.  However, once you stray into Felony territory, a Third Degree Felony for Felony Battery can mean five years of prison…and no, you still do not get to control the TV. If you are facing time behind bars other than bartending school, seek competent legal counsel to learn what defenses may be available to you.  Prison food could be better than your wife’s cooking, but it is complicated to have pizza delivered. Read More

The Flip Side of Freedom

Prison may not be the housing solution you are looking for.  While all inmates have access to libraries and religious services, not all Florida prisons have air-conditioning.  Department of Corrections will feed you, but you do not get to control the TV.  Furthermore, you have to share television viewing (if available) with about 74 of your closest prison dorm-mates (unless you are on Death Row).  There is a dental plan, and maybe even the possibility of sex-change surgery as in Massachusetts.  With a female inmate population of only 7%, it is difficult for male prisoners to meet someone of the opposite gender. A recent report from the Florida Department of Corrections cites more than 100,000 inmates are housed in our 60 state prisons.  At the end of June this year, over half of the inmate population was incarcerated for violent offenses, and Duval made the number two slot of the top ten Florida counties of conviction for inmates, with a headcount of 7,859, or 7.8% of the total inmates.  I was not among them.  I have been to jail many times, but never as an overnight guest. Seek competent legal counsel if you are facing jail time or prison.  The […] Read More